Curiosity Gets Results

It is one of the most vital and life-affirming qualities you can bring to your life

Insider

By Tina Asher

Contributing Writer

Remember your first day of school? Your first date? What about your first day on a new job?

What’s the common theme?

Hopefully you’ve said, “It’s the unknown.” In each scenario, walking into something unknown creates curiosity.

Curiosity poses questions, questions result in answers, and answers give us confidence to take the next step to move forward. I love to coach clients on taking a “first-day” approach to something. I’ve found that most people lose their sense of wonder in exchange for assumptions.

In the “honeymoon” stage of these “first events,” there’s excitement, a curiosity, and a fresh outlook at what’s ahead. Remember those first days? The relationship is new, the excitement to learn more entices us to ask questions. The thirst for knowledge is quenched when we get answers to our questions, leading us to our next phase in life, whether it be a second date leading to marriage or a career path leading to another promotion or a new line of study. The questions that we continue to ask shape our future.

Time To Reshape

So why do we stop asking questions? Why does the spark of curiosity fade? Relationships grow old, work becomes unsatisfying and sometimes leads to despair.

Here’s the good news.

Our despair doesn’t need to end in divorce, an affair, or jumping ship to find another job. It simply requires us to think about a first-day approach again.

Be curious to get results.
If your boss is uptight, ask him or her, “Hey, I noticed you seem a bit on edge, is there something I can do to help you out?” Or if you’re struggling with a relationship at work or home, you might ask, “Is there something I can do to help ease the tension between us? Have I done something that is causing you stress? I’d love to know.”

When we know, we grow
Reinvigorate your sense of curiosity. It shows you care. You’ll learn something new and you’ll be able to pave the path for the next phase in life.

The thirst for knowledge is quenched when we get answers to our questions, leading us to our next phase in life.

What’s the Connection?

Curiosity has been given a bad rap. Perhaps we grew up hearing that asking questions was rude or conveyed ignorance, or that we’d get into trouble if we were like Curious George. We might even have been warned that “curiosity killed the cat!”

The truth is that curiosity is one of the most vital and life-affirming qualities you can bring to your life and your relationships.

It is so easy to blame others when things go wrong. Consider being curious about your experience rather than critical. For example, instead of beating yourself up for not reaching sales goals — again — try asking yourself what was going on for you that you kept performing below your expectations? With an attitude of “how fascinating that I’ve created this,” you are much more likely to help yourself find new solutions to attaining your goals.

Curiosity in Life

Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all!” When you cultivate an attitude of curiosity, doors open, and adventures begin. Questions lead to new possibilities. For example, asking yourself, “What do I want to learn now and where might that lead me?” can set you on a journey of exciting exploration that moves you forward. If, instead, you come from the place of “I already know what I need to know,” you shut off the possibility of discovering something new that could rock your world.

How often we assume we know what someone else is thinking or experiencing. What if we came from a place of not knowing and offered others an invitation to speak? According to Sharon Ellison, creator of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, “A non-defensive question is innocently curious, reflecting the purity of the child who asks how a flower grows or what makes an airplane fly.” We invite others to share their true experience when we ask questions without hidden agendas and to clarify understanding.

Practical Tips To Cultivating Curiosity

Here are some ways to cultivate a more curious life.

Questions. Practice asking questions with openness and neutrality. Practice with strangers in stores and with people close to you. Stop thinking you know all the answers … be open to being surprised!
Inquiries. An inquiry is an open-ended question designed to broaden your perspective. For example: “What would make life a daring adventure for me?” “Where in my life do I assume I already know?”
Assumptions. These impact how we treat strangers as well as loved ones. Challenge your assumptions by asking, “What if that’s not true?” What other choices might you make then?

If you truly want to expand your excitement, joy and fulfillment in your career and relationships, sprinkle liberal doses of curiosity and watch your life become the fabulous adventure it can be!