Summer Smiles

Hey … it’s summer. Hopefully you’re reading this on a beach somewhere or enjoying a margarita by the pool. If not, I suggest you do that soon. It’s good for business to take a break every now and again, so I thought I’d share some industry laughs with you. ►Sign next to FSBO: We shoot every third agent and the second one just left. ►The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement. ►Real Estate Agent: First, you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there. ►There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage. ►The house is only five minutes from shopping … if you've got an airplane. ►The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you are looking at something you should be doing. ►If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem. ►I went to buy a toaster and it came with a bank. ►How much are they asking for your rent now? Oh, about twice a day. ►How do you define an optimist? A bank manager who irons five shirts on Sunday night. ►My buyers want a new home on the outskirts—of their income, that is. ►A man went to his bank manager and said, “I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?” “Simple,” said the bank manager. “Buy a big one and wait.” ►My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won’t pay. Andy W. Harris, CRMS is president and owner of Lake Oswego, Ore.-based Vantage Mortgage Group Inc. and 2010-2011 president of the Oregon Association of Mortgage Professionals. He may be reached by phone at (877) 496-0431 or e-mail [email protected] or visit VantageMortgageGroup.com.