Take The Risk, Or Lose The Chance

Taking control of your life starts now

Insider

Contributing Writer

Cindy can’t leave her work as an engineer, work that she now finds unfulfilling, because she’ll lose her tenure. Her thought: “I have no control over the system.”

John’s co-worker doesn’t take feedback well, so John works at home each night “cleaning up” the co-worker’s projects so their unit will look better. His thought: “I can’t control how other people are.”

Tracy wants to be promoted to senior management but has been told she doesn’t have what it takes to make the leap. Her thought: “I can’t control what others think of me.”

It’s true. It’s not possible to control a system, another person’s behavior, or others’ impressions. But that doesn’t mean that Cindy, John, or Tracy have no control over their situation. What they — and we — can control ultimately has more power to affect a situation than any control we might try to exert over others.

Consider the power available when we pay attention to these areas — things you can do something about:

Your words. Spoken or written, the words you choose impact your lives and the lives of others. John, for example, could learn ways to approach his colleague that stand a better chance of being heard. (Consider reading Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg or Taking the War Out of Our Words by Sharon Ellison.) His cover-up doesn’t help the co-worker, and it takes away from John’s personal time with his wife.

Your beliefs. You can always change your beliefs. Cindy, for example, might want to examine her belief that the only way she can feel financially secure is to have tenure. Or her belief that doing something else that’s fulfilling and stimulating won’t provide well enough for her.

Your actions. You alone, are responsible for what you do. Tracy, for example, can find out exactly what leadership and/or managerial qualities her superiors think she lacks. She can take courses to learn skills. She can work with a coach to bring out leadership qualities or to look at other work possibilities.

Your values. What’s important to you is your choice. No one can tell you what to value. Where you truly tap into power is when you align your values with your actions.

Your work. Although many of us complain of being stuck in a job or profession, you do get to choose what your work in the world is. Everything is a choice.

Your friends. Those you associate with say a lot about what you think about yourself. You can choose to have friends who support you and who mirror your best qualities or who bring you down.

Your time. Though it sometimes feels like you have no choice, you do choose daily how you spend the 24 hours given to you.

Your basic health. While you can’t control your genetic make-up, you can choose to exercise, sleep enough, eat healthy food, get routine check-ups, etc.

When you look at these options, you can discover a baseline to empower your day. It becomes clear that you can take control of your life, so where will you begin?